Turning Over a New Leaf

In lieu of fall approaching, I feel compelled to start afresh. I am going to set some goals, to actually be achieved, goals that I feel are important to my health and well-being as a mother, wife, friend, and daughter of God. I was struggling this summer in my relationships with my family- constantly being rude to them, disrespectful, wanting to spend time apart from them. I always seemed to lose my patience at the smallest thing.
I went and saw that movie "Eat, Pray, Love" and had kind of an awakening. Yes, motherhood and wifehood are the hardest things I've ever done, I have droned on before about this. I do need to get this out right now for my own benefit. I was not born with the need to have a family, as my mother can tell you. I wanted to be an only child, wanted nothing to do with my family, thus making me not at all interested in having a family of my own. I don't know why I was this way, but that is how it was. I always wanted to be the cool aunt, taking my nieces and nephews for the weekend, spoiling them and returning them to their parents to be expertly taken care of, which I knew I could never do. It wasn't until I turned 21 that I felt the need for a family of my own, to take my own little ankle biters to the store, and cuddle up to my husband on the couch.
I am truly thankful that I had this change of heart, because I do love my family very much, I still struggle sometimes with the "ifs". After seeing this movie, I was jealous of the authors ability to just up and leave, not to leave her life, but to be able to go on a journey of self discovery but traveling abroad. One of my biggest dreams in this life, which it has always been, was to be able to travel the world. My dream job would be to work for a travel magazine and get sent all over the world and to write about my journeys. Well, since that will never happen, I have decided to go on my own personal journey. And the fact that I am writing it down will help me stick to it. It is a journey to finally accept and love myself, which I have not been able to do and which I know is a big contributor to why I have been so horrible to my family. I can't truly love them without truly loving myself. So here goes...
Oh, and my goals to achieving this:
1. Journal or blog every night-in my kids journals and mine-I am talking at least just a paragraph.
2. Reading my scriptures morning and night, along with prayer.
3. Exercising at least 5 days a week, and I am not talking grueling workouts every day that will burn me out, I am talking walking, hiking, cycling, anything that gets me moving.
4. Eating smaller, healthier meals and snacks
So this is it, wish me luck!